"A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." A: Superbowl. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. Carnac the Magnificent. The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. In 1987, Myrtle Young came on The Tonight Show to show off her rare collection of potato chips. CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer A: Sha-na-na. May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. View all. Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. A: Chariots of the Gods. They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. The Question: Name six fictional T.V. sister. JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret A: Deep freeze. A: The Orient express. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Q: What do you say when calling your quat? The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. parents. We have in the building tonight that great visitor from the East. , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. | Replica prop, Johnny carson, Johnny Explore Men's Fashion Men's Accessories Men's Hats Uploaded to Pinterest Johnny Carson Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. A: Kris Kristofferson A: Bedbug. Images tagged "johnny carson". Q: How do you get it? Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. sister's hooped skirt. Q: What do you call an agreement with Don Rickles? May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. The character was introduced in 1964. The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. plunger. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." Paul Rosenzweig, George Washington University law professor and former deputy assistant secretary for policy in the Department of Homeland Security, told Yahoo News via email it reminded him of Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch "where he knows the . If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. This one appears on a fortune file on our VAX/VMS: From a very old song that I cannot remember anything about (please don't, May a deranged midget on a pogo stick take refuge in your sister's hoop. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. . (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. A: Pat and Debby Boone. May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. The announcement implied Carnac was responsible for some scandal or disaster currently in the news, as "And now, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, Carnac the Magnificent." The Question: Name an elephant, a donkey, and a Rino. A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. lizard. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! A: Fun with Dick and Jane. A: The 11th Hour. During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. KeyCastr. which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC The Question: How tall would Clarnac have to be for his current weight to be his ideal weight. Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php A: De-frost. So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. A: Roots. CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. by BMcCJ. A: That darn cat. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. The crowd is hostile. The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? The funny story above is a satire or parody. She said, Why didnt you go around me?. Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Box 4, Folder 45. , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? (Crowd applauds) #10. The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. B. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? A: "I never promised you a rose garden." A: Touchback. Q. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. Starring: Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon; Directed by: Bobby Quinn; The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson - Show Date: 05/24/84. If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your , The Question: Where do you go for a drive-through facelift? , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? A: Flypaper. "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. [1] 36 relations: Billboard (magazine), Billet reading, Bob Arbogast, CNN, Columbia University Press, CRC Press, Curse, Divination, Ed McMahon, Ernie Kovacs, . My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". Q: What instrument does a doctor use to examine your The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. juice? Youre the straight man. One of the most memorable audience insults came after the Philadelphia 76ers swept the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals to win the 1983 NBA Championship, when Carnac retorted, "May Dr. J slam dunk your cat." A: Once is not enough. jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. Gotta be His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. A: The Rock of Gibralter. Q: Where won't you see Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor? Q: Name a Chinese diet doctor. Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. It is original material for the most part. The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? The character was introduced in 1964. the Denver Nuggets. Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a Line: 478 We are now officially the living who envy the dead! Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. A: Sex. Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. grenade? CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. . May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. A: High rollers. these envelopes, The character was introduced in 1964. . Or are you just happy to see me? Q: Describe Mick Jagger's nose. It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . stops. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. his neck? "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? A: A thousand clowns. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. Question Man". The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. A: Groundhog. A: "The Dumplings." this year? The Answer: Kids, drunk people and tight yoga pants. A: Eight is enough. Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? A: Snap, crackle, pop. "Oh, . NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. A: "Gung Ho!" Some of his one liners: "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou." Reading the contents of the envelope: "Name three things that have yeast." Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 1966 Johnny Carson 769K subscribers Subscribe 169K views 10 years ago Carnac's prediction: "A 100. Q: What's in Jimmy Dean's sausages? Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. Carson . A: Milk and honey. Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. A: Trapper John. The Answer: At least you can get four quarters out of a dollar. A: Black feet. Related Topics. Line: 24 . Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. Q: What's the name of a drive-in massage parlor? Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. up your turban. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? (Crowd cheers) #10. A: General Curtis LeMay, the Red Baron and Carnac. Q: Name two rams and a goat. Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. I hold in my hand these Box 4, Folder 48. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. A: Over 15 billion served. . After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed. A: Disjoint. Mouse over chart for play descriptions. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? prune juice? Q: What do you call not getting busted? Here's how it played out on air. Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess (Wait for it! Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? Forum Novelties. One of his characters, "Carnac the Magnificent," drew on his early entertainment work as a magician in Nebraska. The Answer: Howdy Doody, Jerry Mahoney, and Joe Biden. 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. A: A potato, Burt Reynolds and Sgt. . Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! (croud cheers) #10. Q: What do crabs get high on? QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Q: Name three people who like to bomb. The Answer: No more years! Longtime sidekick Ed McMahon ritualistically and bombastically introduced the Carnac routines. Prime Video. [1] |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. A: Until he gets caught. A: Henry R. Block. CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your Adam and Eve had more problems than that forbidden apple. , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? on a country? The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. A: Hickory Dickory Dock. "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. A: Sale of the Century. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. , The Question: What would a lot of people like to do to Lady Gaga? Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. tissue. A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your . Along the theme of reverting curses, there is a fascinating mesorah (tradition) handed down from the Vilna Gaon (1720-1797) that all the curses that mankind was cursed after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, will be reverted and changed back to normal at the end of time, except for the curse of the Serpent, who represents the evil force of Amalek, and whose curse shall remain in place until his utter and total destruction. "[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. . I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. . Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions.
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